Treading Water

I remember swimming lessons growing up and having to tread water in the deep end of the pool.

You're far enough from the edge so you can't grab onto it.

But you're close enough to paddle to safely.

But you have to stay out there, treading water, until the stopwatch says you've been out there long enough.

Treading water isn't so bad at first.

I find it almost even relaxing.

It's a different change of pace from swimming laps.

Your head stays above water and you just focus on keeping your body moving to keep it that way.

Treading water is a safety skill. It's necessary and an important part of swimming.

But what happens when we tread water outside of water?

That's what grad school has been like for me.

Sometimes, and sometimes often, I find myself thrown into survival mode.

Not enjoying all that water has to offer...just treading water...trying to keep my head above water.

It's exhausting.

And I'm convinced that we were not made to tread water for long.

When do you find yourself treading water?

I'm sure treading water looks different for others but for me it means

;having laundry piled up and scrambling to find clothes for clinic

;studying for an exam no more than two days in advanced

;studying for quizzes the morning of the quiz

;zoning out to netflix just to avoid having to deal with the chaos

;putting off reconciling finances

;being hesitant to commit to anything

;rarely getting a supply room order in on time for clinic

;getting confused with meeting times cause your calendars don't match

;taking it not only day by day, but rather more hour by hour

You see, I can handle that life for a little while. But there comes a point when I'm exhausted from it all. I find myself not enjoying life but rather surviving it. 

So how do we go from treading water to swimming laps again?

;set time aside to figure things out. make time to figure out how you're going to make time

;cut tasks out that aren't vital 

;prioritize what needs to get done first

;organize your space

;go for it

For the last few weeks, I started to recognize that I had been treading water but just didn't take the time to suck it up and figure stuff out. 

Well, I finally took charge.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."- Jesus //john 10:10

Let's strive to live life abundantly. And let me tell ya, no amount of time treading water leads to an abundant life. 

Step One: Go to Starbucks and sit there for hours. Work on those assignments and case reports you've been putting off. Drag your best friend with you and tell her to take a casual picture of you getting work done. Classic.

Step Two: Get fed up with how ridiculously messy your apartment has become. Go crazy. Get on comfy clothes, throw your hair up, and pick a good Pandora station. Clean your little heart out. Vacuum. Wipe everything down. Might as well scrub that shower too, go ahead, you'll feel better.

Step Three: Admire your work. Light some candles. Be reminded that His grace is sufficient. But don't admire it for too long cause you gotta run out the door to do another night at Starbucks.

Step Four: After you're done cleaning, drag your best friend back to Starbucks. Put glasses on cause your eyes are tired and you just cleaned like a warrior. Keep working on case reports. This time, take your own selfie and hope the dude next to you doesn't notice.

Step Five: Invite yourself over to have dinner at the Dillard's house. Take some time to relax and try to forget about those case reports. When dinner is over and you've caught your breath, do. more. work. Remember to take another selfie. 

BAM. 

You've done it.

You turn in your assignments, enjoy your clean living space, and you can officially breathe.

You're done treading water.

But lady, it's time to start swimming some laps.

Cause you still have 72 days left 'til summer.

I Jumped Out Of A Plane

Yes folks, yesterday Lydia and I jumped out a perfectly functioning aircraft.

It has been something I've literally been wanting to do for years, but I just never followed through.

Luckily, Lydia is just as much of a sucker for adventure as I am. I am so lucky to have a friend like her. 

Saturday night, it was really hitting me that we weren't going to postpone our jump any longer.

I googled "is skydiving worth it".

And sure enough, the responses all said it was. 

Sunday morning came and I was getting REALLY nervous. 

Lydia came to church with me and after a small bite for lunch, we headed to the Lodi Parachute Center.

It wasn't what I was expecting and I was a little put off by how nonchalant everyone was. Hello? I'm signing my life away to jump out of an airplane here!

I was a little tense, not gonna lie. But Lydia's confidence helped me get over it.

Once we were harnessed in, I felt at peace. 

Psyched and ready to go!

Our support crew! 

Right before we boarded the plane. 

My tandem partner was Roger. He was seriously such a goof. Lydia had Chris...a good looking dude with an Australian accent. Larry and Catia were our camera people! I highly recommend paying for the DVD and still pictures for your first jump.

The plane only takes 7 minutes to climb 13,000 feet. Getting jazzed and trying to remember everything Roger was telling me. We were quite cozy in that plane, let me tell ya. 

I watched Lydia jump first.

Then it was my turn to jump head first towards the earth. 

In the plane, I asked Roger about spinning. He said we could do it! We did lots and lots of turns in the air. Chris and Lydia found us so we could wave in the air. Well, I waved with my foot because by that point, Roger had me take hold of the parachute. Crazy, right? 

The landing!

Thank you Frandie for jumping with me and helping me not be so freaked out!

So would I do it again??

Absolutely!

Is it worth it??

Yesssssssssssssssss.

From Baylor Bound to Sac State Sent

As the first semester of graduate school comes to a close,

 I can't help but think back on how I thought my life (and my college experience) was going to pan out.

You see, going to Sac State was never in my thoughts...

and certainly not my top choice.

I was 100% Baylor bound.

My mind was made up sophomore year of highschool.

I never looked anywhere else.

The deal got even sweeter when one of my best friends, Kayla, was going to transfer 

there her junior year when I would go in as a freshman.

We were going to live together.

And have waffles on the weekends.

And love our lives together as Baylor bears.

Is the campus not seriously breathtaking?

Summer 2008 (before my senior year) I went on a Mexico mission trip, Kayla and I and met Hanna who was interning with the ministry...and she was currently a Baylor bear!

I remember talking to her and just being sooo excited to go to Baylor.

One night, we even all wore our Baylor stuff!

Me, Hannah, Kayla (Mexico 2008)

I applied and was accepted on November 12th! 

I literally cried when I got my beautiful acceptance letter (they make it look like an award, too) in the mail. It was the first time in my life I had cried for joy. That's how stoked I was about it. I quickly called Kayla, who had gotten her acceptance a few weeks before me.

Everything was falling into place.

So what if I had applied to other schools...I didn't need a backup!

I was in and ready to go!

Let's get back to Sac State for a moment now, shall we?

I remember my mom taking me on a tour of Sac State sometime that year. She was really excited to take me on a college tour and since it was close, it was easily affordable at that time.

I was a total brat.

I pouted in the back of the tour group the entire time.

I screamed at my mom in the car ride there.

I had worked too hard in high school to just go to a state school...

especially Sac State. 

I honestly don't remember anything about the tour. 

When they offered to take people to the Res Halls for tour,

I refused.
I ruined the whole day.

Spring 2009 came along with many other acceptances into universities.

My mom decided that if I was ready to pick-up and move to Texas,

I might as well visit the school.

So spring break, my mom took me to Waco.

She was always pushing for me to stay close, save money, and go to Sac State.

Why was I so against it: one word...

One ugly word.

PRIDE. I

 was top of my class and the logical step in my brain was to go to a big university, with an awesome football team, full of tradition, known...

One night on our visit, Hanna took me around and showed me all the cool things Baylor students do.

She took me to Common Grounds, to her apartment, the HEB, and we threw tortillas off a bridge!

It was awesome! My mom and I took a tour of the campus, met my advisor, explored the city, and just soaked it all in. 

My mom remembers us meeting with a professor from the Communication Disorders department. When I said I was from Sacramento, she said, "Oh, have you heard of Sacramento State? They have a good program, too." Apparently my face went blank.

I don't really remember this conversation...but I'll take my mom's word for it.

So there I was in Waco. At my dream school, seeing student life, soaking in the beautiful campus...

One of the last nights we were there, I distinctively remember laying in bed...I undoubtedly had the perfect visit but something just wasn't right. There was a feeling I had that told me that maybe I had this all wrong.

Thank you Holy Spirit, for that gentle reminder to trust God's plans instead of my own.

On our trip back home, my mom said, "Ya know, I really can see you fitting in here.."

What?!

After all that time her lobbying for me to go to Sac State, visiting Waco showed her how I could fit in...

and visiting Waco had me questioning my plans.

For the next month, I wrestled with God...and let me tell you...I put up quite the fight.

College decision day was coming closer.

One Sunday, my mom and I sat down to make the decision.

We made a good-ole-trusty-pro-con-list.

I cried...a lot.

I layed face down on the floor crying because I felt like I couldn't make a decision.

Thank you, mom for all your patience during this process!!

I chose Sac State.

I could get everything I wanted out of Baylor at Sac State.

I was going to live in the halls, do speech pathology, have opportunities to study/travel abroad, and I would figure out how to get connected to a Christian community.

My friends definitely did not understand. There I was graduating seventh out of a large class...

and going to Sac State.

Regardless of others' opinions, I knew it was the right choice. 

God flipped my plans upside down and I felt so at peace.

A few weeks into freshman year at Sac State (the night before my 18th birthday).

Would I have had a great college experience had I gone to Baylor?

Absolutely.

Guarantee it.

But I certainly wouldn't have had the experience I've had a Sac State.

And I wouldn't trade it in for the world.

I have met some of my best friends.

I've literally traveled the world.

I grew leaps and bounds in my faith.

And I have ridiculous amounts of pride in Sac State than the average student.

Stingers up!

It may have taken me a few years to figure out why I was here.

But it's pretty clear to me.

This is exactly where I was meant to be.

Thank you, Lord for being in control of my life. Thank you for breaking my plans and allowing me to see that You are what matters, not my pride and what I think I deserve. I love being a Sac State hornet and am so thankful for everything that I have experienced here. 

What area in your life are you refusing to let go?

What would happen if you let go and trusted God to guide you through His Holy Spirit?

Go ahead...I promise you it's worth it.

Thursday Three

It's Thursday.

It's time for a Thursday Three.

Enjoy this little glimpse into my life lately...

as shown through pics on my iPhone. 

#1. It is ridiculously cold outside today. It's currently 45*. Yeah, I know that this is much warmer than a lot of other places...and my friend Lexi is suffering through 4* weather right now. But. Today dropping below 50* means it was time for me to bundle layers on layers on layers. Top layers include a cami, v-neck, sweatshirt, and North Face fleece. I have on tall Christtmas socks that go up to my knees. And I topped it off with a knitted headband that Laura gave me for my birthday! Here's the funny thing: as I walked to class, my whole 5 minute commute (I LOVE living on campus) I was seriously warm...almost hot. Felt like I was taking a nice relaxing walk on the beach. As soon as I got to class, you bet I shed my sweatshirt and North Face. Ha. [Side note: I think my hair is looking longer? yay!]

#2. Let me let you in on a little secret. The tabs on bread actually mean something. Luckily, my dad has worked for Sara Lee for a long time so I've been all caught up on this info. Thanks Dad! Each day of the week has a different colored tab which tells you which day the bakery baked it! This allows you to choose the freshest loaf of bread. If you're interested in the knowledge of bread tags, read up about it here. I was grocery shopping late (thanks Safeway for being open til 1am) with Lydia. These were on the back wall of the bread area. Apparently bread men these days need a little extra help with these visual cues? I don't know. But, you're welcome for this knowledge that will change the way you choose your loaf of bread. 

#3. It seems like Kim has been making appearances in my Thursday Three posts regularly but I can't help it if we always seem to have fun. Last weekend, I went with her and her family (husband and son) up to her sister's house in Camino (Apple Hill) to chop down a Christmas tree! It was pretty anti-climactic in my opinion. But hey, that's ok! The rest of the night was a whole bunch of fun. More of their family joined us at her sister's house. We ate pizza together and then set off on the great task to decorate her sister's family's tree. This is a system and a process people! Luckily Kim's niece, Katie, filled me in on the details. 

Here are the rules: 1) Bulbs go on first 2) Small ornaments go on top...bigger ones on the bottom 3) Don't place ornaments of the same color and/or design too close to each other 4) Don't be offended if someone moves the ornament you put on

It was just a lot of fun meeting people that Kim talks about all the time! :)

Well, that's it folks. Stay warm. Choose the freshest loaf. And enjoy this holiday season!

Thursday Three

Oh hey!

It's Thursday...which means another Thursday three post. 

Wanna be caught up? Check out previous Thursday Three posts here and here.

#1. This little boy brings me so much joy. Last week, I stopped by to say him and his mama (and his cute little brother too). We had hotdogs for lunch and when we headed outside, he was a big help raking the leaves!

#2. This short but sweet postcard arrived in my mailbox last week from Ian, my older brother who is currently on deployment. "The motherland" is a reference to Spain...our dad's side of the family is from Spain. His wife visited him a few weeks ago, brought these back, and mailed them out for him. So nice for an older brother to say "I am very proud of you". I'm super proud of you too, bro!

1. Choco Boy. Seriously one of my favorite snacks of all time. I fell in love with them while in East Asia and practically ate a box every day. I typically ate them at night when Lydia and I played Skip-Bo. I bought a ridiculous amount of boxes to bring back to hand out to family and friends so that more people could join in my love for the delicious cracker and chocolate snack shaped like mushrooms. Lydia assured me that she'd seen them in the states before so I started eating the ones I brought back knowing I could just buy more for the friends and family I originally bought them for. But! We couldn't find them anywhere. Serious disappointment set in and months went by with no prevail. Then, an unexpected text came in...with a picture of these bad boys! Lydia's mom found them! And bought us three boxes! I was as happy as could be. Thanks Mama Wendy for hookin' it up! Here's the real challenge: using self-control to not devour these in one sitting. 

Family Farkle Fun

Friday night, my family got together for dinner and games.

How great is it to spend time with family when it's not a birthday, wedding, funeral, or holiday?

Real great.

We gathered around 7pm at my grandma's house. I brought Lydia...

cause she's basically a part of my family now-a-days anyways.

We had a simple but super delicious dinner.

Then, the game began.

We played Farkle.

You don't know what that is?

Neither did I.

It's basically a dice game and you're trying to rack up points!

There are quite a few variations of scoring, but, you can get the general idea here.

We each put in a dollar to gamble to see who could get to 10,000 points first!

It was a close game at times, but eventually Grandma Betty blew us all out of the water.

The worst part:

EVEN BY THE END OF THE GAME, SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY.

She never developed a strategy. She was just super lucky in her dice rolling.

Typical grandma move.

Maybe I'm just a little bitter because Lydia and I were going to use the 9 dollars to buy fro-yo.

I came in absolute last.

Oops.

We decided for Christmas we were each gonna pay 6 dollars to pay.

5 for the winner.

1 for the loser.

I'm looking forward to it!

I seriously love spending time with my family. Go ahead. Plan a game night.

Get together with your family.

Laugh together.

You won't regret it.

Motorcycles and God

This weekend, I got to spend a few days with my daddy. And boy oh boy, do I have the best daddy in the world! We had a ton of fun together but one of my favorite things we did was go for a motorcycle ride when I arrived Friday afternoon.

I had only done it once before and I sure was excited to go again. 

Being the passenger gave me some time to think.

And I started to realize:

riding on the back of a motorcycle is kind of like trusting God.

Let me tell you how.

TRUST. 

Yup. It requires a lot of trust to ride on a motorcycle. It requires total confidence in the driver. I've only been on a motorcycle with my dad as the driver (and he told me to make sure that's always the case). Why? Because I know that my dad loves me and does everything he can to protect me. When I ride with him, he makes sure to drive safely because he has precious cargo with him. And guess what? We are precious cargo to God. I have to trust that my dad knows what he's doing. I certainly have no knowledge of how to drive a motorcycle. So you just sit back and hold on for the ride, trusting that eventually, we will make it safely back home.

HE'S OUR PROVIDER.

All I had to do to prepare for the ride was make sure that I had long pants and boots (or good shoes). The jacket, helmet, gloves, and sunglasses were all provided for me. He even put the backrest on so I could have a more comfortable ride. God is the same way. All he wants from us is trust and faith in him. After that, he gives us the Holy Spirit and everything else we need in order to follow and be obedient to Him. 

WE MUST FOLLOW.

Taking turns on a motorcycle is one of my favorite parts of the ride. There's just something so freeing and adventurous about it! As we came to the first stop sign my dad looked back at me and said "Remember, just follow me on the turns." That's it. No other advice was needed for the ride other than to follow. It was important not to lean too far, or not lean far enough. Just follow his shoulders. Jesus called his disciples by saying, "Come, follow me." They weren't exactly sure what they were in for, but if they were willing to follow, Jesus was ready to rock their worlds. 

LISTENING REQUIRES EFFORT. 

The first part of our ride was pretty quiet. I was too concentrated on getting comfortable to be able to talk or ask questions. Mostly, our quick conversations happened at stop signs or red lights. But as the ride went on, I got better at leaning in close to say something and I got better at shifting my ear to listen to what my dad was saying to me. It was a little uncomfortable at first-it requires movement and on a motorcycle that can be a little scary. But, it got easier! The same is true in our relationship with God.

WE ARE ALWAYS LEARNING.

The most uncomfortable part of riding on a motorcycle is the wind in your eyes. Even with sunglasses and the helmet shield, I could still feel the wind whipping up into my eyes. At times, I would just close my eyes and I had no clue how my dad was keeping his eyes open to see the road! I made a comment about my eyes and he said, "You're gonna have to learn how to hold your head." You're just gonna have to learn. Him saying that gave me hope that there was a way to make this stop! I tried tilting my head to the left, right, up, and down...and I finally figured it out. God is continually sanctifying us, making us more and more like him...more and more like the driver. It takes some willingness to learn and be teachable. 

IT'S ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP.

The best part of the ride was that I was doing it with my dad. It was memories we were making and I was loving every minute of it. Yeah, maybe it would have been cool with a stranger. But I'll take making memories with my daddy over making memories with a stranger any day. That's what the Bible and Jesus are all about: redeeming us broken, imperfect people to the righteous, holy, powerful God. It's about raising our view of Him and getting to know his character. It's about having an accurate view of ourselves. It's all about a relationship. I did not do anything to earn a ride this weekend. All I did was ask. That's all you have to do to have a relationship with God: Thank Jesus for dying for your sins, acknowledge Him as Savior, and ask Him to be on the throne of your life. It just takes faith! How great is that? It's not about being good enough of earning anything. We are saved through faith NOT by works. 

HE DOESN'T NEED US, BUT WE NEED HIM.

When we got back, my dad said "Wow, that was fun!" and I totally agreed. But here's the thing, my dad could have totally went on the ride without me. He didn't need me. He is perfectly capable of riding alone. But, I would be pretty useless on the back of a motorcycle if I didn't have a driver. I am helpless and not capable. It is only by the power of the driver (and God) that I am able to do anything. But, I know that my dad enjoyed having his daughter ride with him. It's not that he needs me, but he wants me. 

Like riding on a motorcycle, when we continually pursue God and His Word (the Bible) it makes us hungry for the adventure more and more.