Hope

hope

noun

1. 1. 

   a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   Thousands of students walk through the cement tunnels onto the arena floor. Family and friends crunched tightly in the stands cheering as the music plays. You look around, trying to decipher their texts to figure out just where to look and wave. 

   
   

   Fourteen. Just fourteen other people that have been on this two year journey with you and y'all laugh as you talk about how crazy grad school has been and you scoff at yourself for the times that you wanted to seriously drop out and call it quits. But here it is, graduation day. You put on a black graduation gown for the last time, with your hood draped over your arm. You woke up way earlier than you would have liked, but you made it here because this is what you've been waiting for!

   
   

   There are so many things that compete for what we put our hope in. I find myself hoping for graduation, my next opportunity to explore the world, meeting "that" guy, succeeding at  ridiculous challenges that Lydia and I create for ourselves...and trust me, the list could go on. 

   
   

   At the end of summer, I started to realize that in the patterns of my prayers, I was getting caught up in so many things (even good things!) that were distracting me from my true hope. I finished my internship at my church in August and my boss (Kim) gave me and the other intern (Lauren) a cute piece of wall art and she asked us to write a verse on the back for each other that had been encouraging us lately. I chose Revelation 22:20: He who testifies to these things says, "Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

   
   

   The past four months as I found myself getting distracted, I would pray just four words:

    Come, Lord Jesus, come. 

   
   

   This semester was a blast...and I pushed forward, not expecting what I was going to be reminded of when December rolled around...

   
   

   

   I started the semester with our staff retreat...I am convinced I am part of the coolest staff team. 

   
   

   
   

   

   I led and MC'd Fall Retreat with this guy...making fools of ourselves.

   
   
   

   

   Got to meet and gather freshman ladies for our Community Group (and hey, they're my favorite part about my job!)

   
   

   
   

   

   I continued to make a fool of myself by hosting a game night at our Staff Conference in November. 

   
   

   
   

   

   Laughed a lot. 

   
   

   
   

   

   We were reunited! Lauren, Me, and Kim having lunch when Lauren was home for a break. 

   
   

   
   

   

   I cuddled with Crosby.

   
   

   
   

   

   Cheered on Lydia as she ran her first marathon.

   
   

   
   

   

   Sat with Sarah as she folded laundry and we encouraged each other in what it means to walk forward with blind faith. 

   
   

   
   

   

   I celebrated the end of the semester with my speechies.

   
   

   
   

   

   Made fun memories with my pops. 

   
   
   

   

   Shared my faith on the beach in San Diego...while wearing converse. Total Nor Cal move. 

   
   

   
   

   

   Learned a whole bunch at Winter Conference.

   
   

   
   

   

   We danced....and once again, made a fool of myself. Do we notice a pattern here? 

   
   

   
   

   

   Then I bounced, loved, and cuddled with my favorite babies on the planet. 

   
   

   
   

   Like I said, I had a blast this semester! What you can't see in these pictures is the way that God was showing me over and over again what it means to fully invest my hope in him. I wrestled hard and by week twelve of the semester, I got it. It made sense and I surrendered once again. A week ago, I returned back to Sacramento after spending a week down south at Cru's San Diego Winter Conference. Hundreds of students from California, Arizona, and Hawaii gathered to learn about the "Unseen". One of the first talks grabbed my attention. It was given by Roger Hershey about the second coming of Jesus. Come, Lord Jesus, come. 

   
   

   What happens when the "good" things you put your hope in just aren't good enough compared to the all powerful, totally righteous, mighty comforter of Jesus? For me, it meant my journal pages were getting filled at warp speed with my thoughts, questions, desires, and expectations. It meant reading my Bible with absolute expectation to learn something new. It meant seeking wise counsel. And ultimately, it led to my heart catching up and being where my treasure is.

   
   

   Here's to pushing forward to the ultimate goal. Here's to loving without abandon, taking big steps of faith, and trusting God more than we trust ourselves. Here's to 2015 and all that's in store!